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From: red
Date: 14/10/03
Time: 02:37:52
Remote Name: 210.49.70.205
bianca, so sorry to hear how awful you are feeling. unfortunately not being in a medical position i can't offer you any advice as to where to go from here... all i can say is, congrats on doing it alone, and try to keep you chin up. i can honestly say i do (and i'm sure many others reading this site) understand the sadness, exhaustion and loneliness you are feeling, and the inability to explain it to others. i suffered like that for so long, with my partner and my family telling me to "pull yourself out of this, stop being so overemotional" and to "stop crying, you are over reacting". however, they have since really attempted to understand what i am going through, and now i have a supportive family network... my mum, dad, and my fiance (a recent occurence that i can somewhat attribute to my course of aropax!) have been amazing so i do have someone to talk to - they are trying to understand even though they have never gone through it themselves.
i do count myself amongst the luckier few, and while i am annoyed i wasn't told of the awful withdrawal effects, the short course of aropax i have taken has really enabled me to "get back on top of things" and see life in a new light. like i said with the dog-comment earlier, i am determined to look at little things every day and be thankful for them, rather than let the overwhelming anxiety overtake me as it used to. my low points are still pretty low, but i am luckily still in the zone where i am able to reason with myself to pull myself out. however, i know i will be struggling in some way forever, as i have been a self-critical high achiever with low self confidence my whole life (but i'm gonna do it drug-free!). enrolling in postgraduate uni this year was probably not the best thing for my stress levels :)
as i said earlier, i'd love to be able to help, but all i can say is "start with the little things"... be thankful that the sun is out, that the sky is blue... start to look at the wonderful little things in life - ants, butterflies, puppies, chocolate! i probably sound pathetic, but i love the quote "a great man is he who has not lost he heart of a child"... that is how i'm trying to live now. now if i could only get these crazy dreams and this silly rocking feeling out of my head!
best wishes :)